Saudade só existe em português, mas foi aprendendo um novo idioma que fiz dessa palavra uma eterna companheira.
Eu podia contar sobre o meu desespero na primeira noite em Londres, do quanto chorei, enquanto me obrigava a lembrar porque estava ali.
Podia descrever como, aos poucos, desconhecidos tornaram-se amigos preciosos, um restaurante que já conhecia do Brasil tornou-se meu emprego em Londres ou como aprendi a dizer não e a estar muito mais disposta a dizer sim.
Podia tentar expressar cada aprendizado e cada emoção que vivi nesses seis meses, mas jamais seria capaz de resumir a experiência de viver um intercâmbio ou como isso me afetou.
Quando se constrói um lar do outro lado do mundo é como se esse mundo ficasse menor e todos os seus sonhos parecessem possíveis. Em compensação, de repente toda essa distância fica tão importante que parece maior.
Antes de viajar, meu pai confessou sua preocupação: "e se você gostar de lá e não quiser voltar?" Eu respondi: "mas só valerá a pena se eu não quiser voltar." A felicidade de ter algo é proporcional a dor que se experimenta quando se perde. Eu sabia que quanto mais valesse a pena, mais doloroso seria deixar tudo para trás.
As pessoas me perguntam como está a minha readaptação a Salvador. Eu nunca precisei de mais de um dia para me adaptar a qualquer lugar. O meu problema é lidar com a falta que as pessoas me fazem. Nesse quesito, não sei quando me sentirei de novo totalmente em casa.
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Exchange [...the end]
Saudade* only exist in portuguese, but was learning a new language that I did this word my eternal companion.
I could talk about my hopelessness in the first night in London, how I cried while I forced myself to remember why I was there.
I could write how, gradually, strangers became precious friends; how one restaurant which I knew from Brazil became my job in London; how I learned to say no or how I became more willing to say yes.
I could try express each learning and each emotion I have had in this six months, but never I could summarize the experience of live a exchange or how this affected me.
When you build a home in another place in the world it is as if the world become smaller and all your dreams looks like possible. On the other hand, suddenly this distance becomes so importante that looks like bigger.
Before travel, my dad confessed to me your concern: "if you like so much there and don't want come back?" I answered: "but just will worth if I don't want come back." The happyness when you get something is proportional to the sadness when you lose it. I knew that as worthwile was, as painful would be to leave everything behind.
People ask me how is my readaptation to Salvador. I never needed more then one day to adapt to anywhere. My problem is miss the people. In this case, I don't know when I'll feel totaly at home again.
______
* saudade means miss someone or something.
Saudade* only exist in portuguese, but was learning a new language that I did this word my eternal companion.
I could talk about my hopelessness in the first night in London, how I cried while I forced myself to remember why I was there.
I could write how, gradually, strangers became precious friends; how one restaurant which I knew from Brazil became my job in London; how I learned to say no or how I became more willing to say yes.
I could try express each learning and each emotion I have had in this six months, but never I could summarize the experience of live a exchange or how this affected me.
When you build a home in another place in the world it is as if the world become smaller and all your dreams looks like possible. On the other hand, suddenly this distance becomes so importante that looks like bigger.
Before travel, my dad confessed to me your concern: "if you like so much there and don't want come back?" I answered: "but just will worth if I don't want come back." The happyness when you get something is proportional to the sadness when you lose it. I knew that as worthwile was, as painful would be to leave everything behind.
People ask me how is my readaptation to Salvador. I never needed more then one day to adapt to anywhere. My problem is miss the people. In this case, I don't know when I'll feel totaly at home again.
______
* saudade means miss someone or something.
